It's A Sports World (Part II)

Can a real man not love sports?

Since passion for sports is so associated with masculinity, I've taken it upon myself to look into how manly I really am. In doing so, I’ve realized, I like a lot of 'guy' things, but on my own terms.

Women for instance. Many guys I know like 'hot chicks.' I too, like a girl who's 'hot,' but that seems to have a deeper meaning for me. I admit being initially attracted to a woman's physical appearance as much as the next guy, but that's only part of the picture. Once a girl starts talking, that can all change in an instant. If you can't relate to me on some intellectual level, you're not worth my time. If you don't have a good heart, basic honesty, a sense of responsibility not to mention a sense of sense of humor, then I don't care if you look like Jessica Alba's twin sister, I’m not interested. And while I associate beautiful women with sensual things like red wine and dark chocolate, most guys I know think of women in the same thought as cold beer and hot wings. For evidence of this, look no further than the massive popularity of a place that's all about sports and chicks: Hooter's.

For the uninitiated, Hooter’s is a cheap sports bar chain that has popped up across the US like a bad case of acne. Their logo is cleverly placed over the image of a cartoon owl, so the OO's become eyes that resemble a large pair of female breasts. Like 'cans,' 'jugs' and 'melons,' the word 'hooters' is an outdated term that basically means 'big tits.' Hooter's restaurants serve up dry chicken wings, bland burgers and greasy fries. In between bites, you can catch all your favorite teams on TV, as well as catch glimpses of the waitresses in their uber-tight orange shorts and white t-shirts as they come around to pour a fresh round of Bud into your mug. Is it just me or is this behavior somewhat primitive?

I'm not saying that my morals are so high, or that I'm so enlightened. I just don't believe in mixing my dining with my adult entertainment. You’re cheapening both experiences that way. Throw sports into the mix and you have a caveman fest void of all sensuality. Instead, how about going to a top sushi restaurant? Afterwards, we can hit a good strip club, a nice one like Cheetah's in Atlanta or Stringfellow’s in London. It's not that I go to these places very often but once in a while, in the right company, it can be a lot of fun, especially when you leave sports out of it.

In addition, to my appreciation of the female species, there are other things about me that are very ‘male.’ For example, I enjoy a good violent, action film, as long as it's well written, acted and directed. Give me 'Apocalypse Now' or 'Pulp Fiction' any day of the week. Take "Armageddon" or "The Fast And The Furious" and put them back where they came from. I also like a good pint of beer, a hearty scotch or bourbon and a good cigar.

Perhaps the strongest testament to my manhood (pun intended) is this: I play the manliest of all music, heavy metal. I even made a career out of it.

So I've realized that there is a place in the world for guys like me: guys who aren't catching every game they can and bonding with their fellow males over it but who are nonetheless "guys" because of it. I've taken some comfort in the fact that two of my biggest heroes, Henry Rollins and Howard Stern, are, by their own admission, not big sports fans. With their abrasive honesty and male energy, these guys are about as feminine as a sweaty jock strap in the NY Giants locker room. All this has helped come to the conclusion that, despite my lack of sports fanaticism, I am a real man after all.