The Wrath Of Skol

Like a lot of you, I avoid solicitations on the phone, mail and internet. But occasionally you get roped into listening to someones schpeel. Such was the case recently, when I turned my company, Skol Productions into a corporation using LegalZoom.com.

Overall the experience with LegalZoom.com was excellent. In fact, with my travel and work schedule, I can't imagine the daunting process of incorporating using any other method. Over the course of three days, I would sit in an arena dressing room with a glass of red wine while Megadeth and Judas Priest took the stage. In between important e-mails, I'd work through this on-line process, like filling out a very long questionnaire. By the time the tour ended, I was back home with my company almost complete.

The problem isn't LegalZoom.com but the other companies that do business with them in order to try to sell you additional services. It's mostly harmless, in the form of adds which appear on the Legal Zoom website. But there is one company, called the "Tax Club," which contacts you under the guise of a "free consultation" that is supposedly "included" as part of your LegalZoom.com service. That sounded well and good, until the answer to every one of my questions was to subscribe to additional services for small monthly fee of $20. And wait, there's also a one time fee you have to pay.

"How much is that" I asked the rep (let's call him Kevin).

"It's $1,500." he answered.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"I know that sounds like a lot, but that's a one time fee and entitles you to unlimited consultations, bookkeeping even tax filing."

"I'll think about it" I said.

He went on and on about how it's really a bargain, that they are experts on deductions which my CPA isn't even aware of (he doesn't even know my CPA) and it will save money in the long run. Thinking that this was really connected to LegalZoom.com.

"Ok" I said. "I really have to go."

Reluctantly (and stupidly I suppose), I agreed to a follow up call. Keep in mind I still thought that this call was somehow legitimately connected to my Legal Zoom process.

In the time since I've done some research on the tax club. The reality is this, according to Agatha, who posted on the consumer website Yelp.com:

"They (The Tax Club) are telemarketers who prey on http://Legalzoom.com subscribers. The TaxClub buys these leads from Legalzoom, then proceeds to call unsuspecting folks who think they are being contacted by Legalzoom for tax services.They have a bad rating with the BBB."

Further research has unveiled nightmare scenarios in which clients are pressed to cough up more money for services they were promised to being with. In some cases these poor folks shelled out tens of thousands of dollars.

Believing there are two sides to every story, I went in search of some more satisfied customers. I could not find one positive review on "The Tax Club" other than the glowing reviews adorning the front page of their own website!

Today, as promised, I heard from Kevin. I was in the middle of rehearsal and refused to pick up the phone. He left the following message, miffed that I wasn't taking his call, which we'd 'scheduled.' There was not a pause or an 'um' the whole time. Where do people learn to talk like this?

"Hi this is Kevin, we had talked last Thursday about the new company set up on Legal Zoom dot com. We had scheduled a follow up today at 2pm eastern regarding the tax planning and advising services we have here. I need to know either way which way you decided. If you need more time or if you need payment options or whatever the case may be, give me a call and let me know. I'll try you back throughout the evening if I don't hear back from you. I'll try you in thirty minutes, an hour and so forth, and between my appointments. Please give me a call and let me know and I'll try to reach you as well."

Throughout the evening? He's going to call me throughout the evening? Am I hearing right? Are you fucking kidding me?!!

What this guy doesn't know is that anytime I feel stalked by a sales rep the deal is automatically off. If you act like that towards me, then I have no use for you or your services. This would be the case even if I hadn't seen all these scathing reviews of the company he works for.

This has happened to me a couple times with gym memberships. Those people tend to be overly annoying, persistent and pushy. They're the ones trying to sell YOU a product. They need you, not the other way around, but they put YOU under obligation, as if YOU need them! Total brain manipulation. This is how cults work.

By requesting a 'follow up' with me, every salesman/woman completely loses me and the commission they'd makes for signing me up. It gets me th...

Wait....I don't believe it. He's calling right now as I'm typing this. Hang on...let's get rid of him.

(5 minutes later) I just said "Hi, look I'm not taking you up on your services." I think he heard it in my voice and gave up instantly. He thanked me, told me to call him if I change my mind and wished me a nice day. I came so close to saying "Guess what. I'm writing a blog about you right now." and lashing into him. Ok, that wasn't so bad. I was getting ready to go to war.

This guy has idea how close he came to experiencing the 'Wrath Of Skol.' I don't go off on someone very often, and I'm well known for my patience. But this type of behavior really gets under my skin. He got it right away and made the wise move of not pushing it. More power to him. Where was I...

This whole thing gets me thinking.... if you want to get someone to do something, whether it's subscribing to the service or membership you're selling, purchase a CD or ticket to your gig, get someone to go on a date with you, get a friend to do you a favor or whatever the case may be, the worst thing you can do is corner your target, put them in the position of victim and force yourself, your product or your services on them.

Case in point: on the last blog post, somebody posted a comment, and called himself Justice Now or something like that. His comment had nothing to do with the topic or anything to do with this blog. Instead it was about going to a website to read about someone who is unjustly (supposedly) imprisoned.and then sign a petition, make a financial contribution toward the cause, etc...

If this case is true and there is an innocent man in prison, awaiting execution or whatever, then I'm sorry and my heart goes out to them. But this jerk who commented on last weeks blog, using it to spread the word about this case and draw attention to it, did the biggest disservice to this alleged victim of the justice system. He not only annoyed me, he made me never want to check out this website and avoid the cause at all costs. Congratulations dude.

The same thing happens, on a smaller level, on MySpace and Facebook all the time. Bands post comments saying 'check out my band,' 'check out our new songs,' 'come to our gig.' I'm flooded by them. Occasionally I'll make an exception. In fact I did so just the other day, when my friend New Orleans DJ Jay Sustain, sent a nice note along with his banner, was very polite about it and totally understood if I chose not to post it. Because he's a real friend and not just a Myspace/Facebook 'friend,' I chose to do so.

People need to remember this: there's a very thin line between marketing and forcing yourself on people. Those who place unsolicited banners, messages and advertisements on others blogs or web pages or act like aggressive, annoying, misleading sales reps, are robbing themselves and their product of all credibility. Attempt this on me and you too will face...The Wrath Of Skol!