Outwardly, a rock & roll tour must look so exciting. Crowds, energy, excitement. But the truth is that there are a lot of lonely moments like this.
The poem started as journal entry describing a two day bus ride. Out of the twelve of us traveling, just a few others were awake, mostly crew members. They looked trapped in their desolate boredom and one person (on the crew), looked particularly tortured.
Suddenly, a representation of life became clear. The 'reflection' in the window mirrored my mental 'reflections,' and suddenly the double entendre was everywhere. The future ahead, drifting "past." Hardened pavement and souls, but underneath, something soft. I'm in touch with the soft part, and it gets me through these times feeling relatively healthy and creative. Others seem to have buried the soft part or are unaware it exists.
I felt sadness. Not for me, for them. Their only solution was to arrive. But where? Will they ever really get there? Arriving is only a temporary distraction.
Why not seek out deeper knowledge, meaning, and new experiences? You can numb the pain all you want with too much beer, soda, fast food and cigarettes. It will only make things worse. Why treat the bus as a a prison cell, when it can be a cocoon?
Amongst it's many unanswered questions, life has a few truths. Most people are afraid to admit these truths and I can't say I blame them. The truth is scary. But denial of these truths is, in the long run, even scarier. Here is one truth that won't win you any popularity contests for bringing up: we are all dying.
Knowing this, there is no excuse to not live life to its fullest. Each day brings us one step closer our 'destination and demise.' Most of us are only partially through our "bus ride" and will hopefully be on this road for many years to come. But you never know, the bus could break down at any time.
22 comments:
Alex, I think you should follow a spiritual path as the seeds have been sown in your soul for your to undertake such a journey.
Testament might sound as a contraction to that but then again a lot of the mighty warriors of the Mahabharata (the ancient epic Indian battle) were great spiritual people.
PS. I was at the London gig and saw Testament rule the house! You playing was a pleasure to behold!
Rock on!
PPS. 'Arriving is only a temporary distraction' - I love this quote. Come to think about it all the worldly material objects and pleasures are a distraction from the real purpose of life/
Both of these last two posts touch me deeply. I have to admit I have envyed your life I have wished to be in that tour bus on a tour of all the places you have been being a musical ambassader so to speak.
I have seen those faces you talk about and worked with them. It has not been easy to see some of them not make it through the depths
of their own darkness.
Is it the moment of creativity that keeps some of them going? Is it the roar and love from a crowd of fans that keep them from feeling the emptiness?
Perhaps the best art comes from these places. The trick is to be able to come back to the center
of your soul.
I appreciate you sharing this with us all. It helps
Some posts ago, you wrote about one moment at the airport, without fans,flash,cams and any glamour.
To be on road or at the office, what´s the difference? any. But I repeat: the media gave glamour to this lifestyle, because you´re on newspapers or magazines, and this is cool. And the days that the only thing that you want is back at home and sleep ?
Recently Testament cancelled some shows here, in South America, and I read several fans here very angry with this - and I disagree with them - because they don´t understand that is hard you: get up at 7. am, have a fast breakfast, go to soundcheck, back to hotel for have a lunch, sleep for 2 ou 3 hours? (maybe) Next you back to show, play for 2 hours ( normally at night!), in some shows have a meet and greed - and you there: smiling! - next time you back to your hotel room to sleep more some hours...and get up again, go to tourbus ! - It´s hard. (and here in this citytour I dont put groupies!) Be roadie is hard too. Maybe more hard that to be a musician !!! - 5,6, 8 hours in bus ???? - OMG, my a...! I imagine you.
"we are all dying." ? yes. we are. The difference is "AS" you are dying.
"doing all things that you want, if this is to do you feel good with yourself." Is my only idea for your friends. In other words: open your eyes! The life is passing.
I totally agree.
Personally, I've been too close too death more times than I would like to admit... and not because I inflicted something on myself.
Too many people take their life for granted. Sounds so "bleh" but its true. And I can't agree with you more on the fact that instead of being miserable doing whatever, make the best of it.
I relate to what you're all saying. I do feel like I'm finding my own form of spirituality which is based on creativity, being as positive as you can to yourself and others and learning from experience and as many sources as you can without following one organized creed or religion.
As far as what keeps people going on the road, it's different for each. Some live for the roar of the crowd but for others, it's a job like any other. Keep in mind the poem and post were more inspired by crew members than band members. I changed the post to reflect that.
I'm glad we postponed that South America tour, as much as I love going there, for all the reasons described (thank you for understanding). That tour was going to be very brutal in terms of travel and we're already pushed beyond the limit. We'll come back soon when the time is right.
I think people get miserable and take life for granted partly because society, family or others push them into a corner that's not where they should to be. Also, when you're surrounded by people who give up on their dreams, it's more difficult to fulfill your own. It takes time, patience, perspective, inner strength and a lot of false starts to break free.
"I think people get miserable and take life for granted partly because society, family or others push them into a corner that's not where they should to be. Also, when you're surrounded by people who give up on their dreams, it's more difficult to fulfill your own. It takes time, patience, perspective, inner strength and a lot of false starts to break free."
Couldn't of said it any better.
I see that A LOT in people my age (mainly college students) that whole conglomeration of things and people pushed them and they end up just standing there nodding their head going in a direction they don't really want to be. (usually based on the highest amount of money they can make when they're done, no matter if they'll be miserable or not)
My cousin always told me chances are, if you do what you love... you'll probably become a professional in your field no matter what it is. And, the money will follow.
I think it is vital for everyone to search their soul and follow their bliss. Always, good to have and make some down-time where the quiet and stillness speak to our soul, if we let it. And, you are lucky and wise to utilitze your travel/tour bus-time in this manner,and, stay connected to those that care. So many people in our society fear death - as a topic, as reality and feel very uncomfortable talking about it. Other cultures celebrate it. Yes, we are all dying second by second. I think one needs to deeply reflect and contemplate on death;write your own obit, spend some time in a cemetery, really think about mortality, our own and others for perspective and growth. And, experiencing it firsthand will forever change one,unfortunately I have, through the loss of parents to cancer, a boyfriend's suicide - and others.
I do not fear it for I have found God - who sent his son to die for all uf us so we need not have fear of it death- and what's ahead.
Peace
I think you are very lucky. Don't take for granted that your spirituality is based on your creativity and that you can do that for a living.
I'm a victim of society, and myself to a degree and my soul is unsettled. The friends I have lost so suddenly were travelers as we all are through time. As the sand in my glass trickles through to the bottom I never forget that Love rules.
Hi Alex
The more I know you,the more I love you.
I am a very outgoing person,it may be different because of the few times that I see some your videos,you seems to be a reserved person.
Since small I feel myself diferent of the majority of people I know.
Since very young it seems no physical barriers that prevent me from loving,smiling and mainly create.
I have been through many situations that some a minority would in a mental hospital,being so tough situation but for me, although for some time be affected, it just always seems to go,because I always end up coming back to love and smile and after so long trying to know me, just realizing that life is this, love and smile...always building to another exprience,trying to circumvent always going ending to love and smile.
Since little i allways have the habit like as if speaking alone and create imaginary someone with whom to share my expriençias,this is perhaps why I never feel alone.
And I belive this is where you are...because I believe that the end of our creativity,is when you may be left,being dominated by loneliness.
hugs from the sunshining land.
Nuno Guerreiro
Portugal
The father of a friend of mine, before passing away, wisely told his son: "Never get good at anything you hate."
I know what you mean, Alex. Life is a series of compromises. Sure, we all have our fun sometimes, but there always seems to be a price to pay. But it really does make you think. If a god was to really exist, why would he allow for all this suffering and despair? If he does, is he truly as omnipotent as we perceive him if he exists? It is an extremely weird sensation that if somebody is truly watching over us why there would be so much much angst and despair among us. But Alex, do you think you are living in some kind of Platonian Cave where you are prisoner and are seeing forms? Keep on thinking Alex, it is good to think. You should read some philosophy if you don't, Alex; you seem very philosophical. Good luck on your tour.
-Nick
‘When you're surrounded by people who give up on their dreams, it's more difficult to fulfill your own.’ No truer words have EVER been spoken. My god, I just printed that line out for my office. Is everyone having a reflective week?!?
As for the original posted: Naomi’s comment on “Reflections In A Bus Windshield” was very sweet.
The ‘we’re all dying’ statement was sobering but so true. This shouldn’t be looked upon as just our demise but a pathway to living your best life. You have to share this life with people. The idea of a moving cocoon is much more optimistic than a traveling tomb! You are about the most fair & optimistic person I’ve met during the past few years. I wonder do you realize how refreshing it is for other to hear you express those thoughts? This has been a learning experience. Thank you for that. Keep writing and believing…
hi Erika Kristen ;)
Erika said...
"" I wonder do you realize how refreshing it is for other to hear you express those thoughts? This has been a learning experience. Thank you for that.""
Sometimes when I come here to Alex Blog, it makes me to thinking ....
Sometimes I can´t belive that I have the opportunity to speak directly with Alex Skolnick...one of the most admired guitarists in the world and I have opportunity to ask questions,thoughts,find he´s way through the writing of the human being he is.
It is without doubt a great privilege and great honor to communicate with this person that causes waves of delirio around the world and especially to hear it going to my person,almost as a friend.
When Alex said that possible he was had to let fall he´s blog becoouse he wouldnt have time,i felt so sad about it.
Hey Alex!!!!
I have one request to make, if possible!!!
When nature find that you are not welcome anymore,could you donate your hands and part of your brain so that I can put on me or for future study of the human species???
eheheheh...just kidding eheheheh...BUT I WANT YOUR HANDDDS FOR ME,if it´s not possible,two or tree fingers it´s ok too
;)
N.Guerreiro.
Hugs from the sunshining land.
Portugal
As admirers of Alex and his amazing talent in music and now word, this blog, he's paying it forward to us. Whether doer or receiver of creativity, it's done to cope and understand life better.
I think we are made to suffer to learn and get closer to God. Everything is temporary - except God's Love. Love transcends - Man proposes and God disposes. Be kind and pay it forward.
Tks for your response, no problem. I watched on YouTube, and feel.
;)
Sometimes the only thing that heals is music, but a kind word from a friend is very good too.
Someone wonders why does God let bad things happen? DO you really think GOD does bad things? or is it by people? If you knew something bad was going to happen before it did, something really big, would you blame God for telling you? Or would you believe he was trying to help you?
Thank GOd for music...today I am moody:
http://www.lyrics.com/lyrics/the-moody-blues/afternoon-forever-afternoon-tuesdaytime-to-get-away.html
last day in Paradise works pretty good too! thank for the music-=-Alex, and the blog.
To Warrior: That was kind of you to acknowledge n' share that!
But he’s just a cool dude who creates a muse that makes our hearts race & our fists punch the air in excitement! Lol (Not to diminish what accolades you have received Alex. You’ve earned
them;-) But he’s real, he’s not ashamed of ‘feeling’ and sharing those feelings w/ the universe.
Now I’M moody too! ahaha Good suggestion about Last Day In Paradise. Guess I’m feelin’ pretty alive today too…
Alex,
I feel your pain. I when I started out with my job, I thought it was the greatest job in the world. Now it seems the older I get, the more I can't stand being away from home. Lots of long days(and nights) sitting in that cocoon, long airport sits, bad food, get up, do it all over again the next day. Only 24 years left to go doing this, but it beats working for a living.
Mike \m/
all i can think about this entry is my respectful Alex has got sick of some moments and got deeper with it. and i also know that it is a natural process to prgress in anyway, am i telling that Alex, himself, really meeting "an another sadness" of the same thing ?
i know that testament been touring for so many years, maybe this entry, this blog is the very first place that we are meeting Alex, himself, i mean his true feeling beside expressions that he has done with music.
somehow i'v been imagine this since 1995.
i haven't toured at all. but i know the feeling of travelling by demands and more reasons. i attended schools by train and bus because the society asked me a degree.
I lot of what I have to say comes from experience, but I also feel that much of the time, I'm just passing on what I've gotten from people I look up to. Some are famous, many are not. Some write, some play instruments, some paint. But all have very high standards, have the courage to tell the truth and resist conforming to the mediocrity we are all pressured to accept. If I'm able to help spread just a little bit of this wisdom through my own voice then it's worth all the effort and struggle. Thank you.
How pathetic, I rally against mediocrity, yet start my comment with a misspelling. I meant "A lot." Not "I lot." LOL
it´s very emotions!
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